a stream of consciousness

Love in the time of swine flu

2010-11-11T01:56:00.005+01:00

I just finished reading Dance Dance Dance by Murakami, and as bizarre and confusing it was at the beginning, it ended up leaving a mark on me.

Forget about the annoying sheep man and all the call girls. What it all boils down to: If you want to see the sun rise on your tomorrow, you've got to stop poking around in your own personal darkness, dancing with the shadows of your broken past, dwelling on every detail of what went wrong.

And if I may throw in a line from Inception: - You've got to forgive yourself.

If you are anything like me, approaching 30, still single, and living in a nice, liberal society where divorce rates are now up to 50 per cent, chances are you will stumble upon a wreck or two. I mean, even some of my twenty-something friends have come full circle before I even manage to bag my first man!

And I have lots of gray hairs, eeek!!

How it feels to fly

2010-09-26T23:48:00.008+02:00

For as long as I can remember, I've been dreaming of running around Singapore in a pencil skirt and clackers.

And ever since I watched Entrapment in 1999, I've been wanting to check out the back allies of Kuala Lumpur.

So, in March last, my colleague and I went to London, and happened to stumble upon a Malaysian who invited us to explore business in his region.

And this is how we found ourselves in a completely different time zone, in 30 degrees Celius, on the top floor at Le Meridien. 3 Norwegians, one Malaysian, two cities, 12 days and 17 meetings.

It was grand, it was overwhelming. This is definitely how life should be.

Now I hope it stays and lasts forever.

Identical brain-twins

2009-03-24T17:08:00.006+01:00

I wonder if humans are transmitting signals to the world, about our background, what kind of people we are, what kind of lives we live, our likes and dislikes, our personality types and so on.

I still remember my first day at Kenya Times, and my first day at my current job. The people I shook hands with and how I was thrilled with excitement to have met them, cause I just knew, already then, that I would love them to pieces.

As I got to know them, turned out we have quite alot in common.

It was the same with my identical brain-twin, Isabel. She grew up in the metropolis that is Chengdu, China. Her father is a university professor and her mother is a Hollywood-film fanatic. I grew up, as we know, on a deserted island, with parents who did their best to protect me from all evils of the outside world.

The first time we met, I was lost on campus, and politely flagged her down to ask for directions. The second time we met, at dance class, we were already chatting away like old friends.

This doesn't happen too often, but the other day, it did. Mind you, I was resisting the urge to invite them to my birthday party the same day. Pity I didn't.

Quality of life calculator

2009-03-16T19:41:00.002+01:00

Lol! Says it all.
Courtesy of WulfMorgenthaler

On being streetwise

2008-12-01T19:11:00.003+01:00

Everything I know, I learnt on the streets of Nairobi. Or, Nairobbery, if you like.

Enlightenment

2008-11-23T01:57:00.008+01:00

I'm sold! My sister used to have a huge light-blue version of this poster in her previous apartment, and my fond memories of it are all coming back now.

However, I never knew there was a book. More universal truths to be revealed if you look inside.

PS. Anyone got the link to the game?

Wuthering heights

2008-11-20T22:51:00.003+01:00

And the storm came. It was only a two-minute walk, but my umbrella took flight and I could only follow. Now the umbrella is in the trash.

I love this time of the year. If I weren't at work, I would climb into bed with lots of blankets, switch off the light and just watch the snowflakes in the wind while sipping hot water and eating chocolate.

Hibernating seems like the only wise thing to do.

Cool Britannia

2008-11-16T22:23:00.005+01:00

O: - The foreign language, different culture thing would be too much of a hassle, I can't see myself settling down with anyone but a Norwegian guy.

Me: -Oh, are you kidding, I would totally go for a Brit.

O: - A Brit? They've got crooked faces, all of them, plus their bodies would be severely damaged from all the smog they've been inhaling since birth.

Me: - No, they are the best looking guys in the world. Plus, they've got a sense of humour.

O: - ?

Me: - And they're perfect gentlemen with the perfect blend of laidback cool and old world charm.

O: - Ah, I see, perhaps there's something too it.

Oh, and the music. (Goosebumps)

1 - 0 to yours truly.

If only I knew this earlier

2008-11-11T13:02:00.003+01:00

But it's too late now.

Do visit xkcd for more.

The power of six

2008-11-11T12:49:00.003+01:00

Six word stories are gaining popularity, and I thought it would be the perfect way of filling in for those weeks of no blogging. Here is my last week but one summed up in 7x6 words:

Monday: We are alone, I am shaky.

Tuesday: Sleeping all day, working all night.

Wednesday: Post gym tacos with favourite friends.

Thursday: I ate your very last cookie.

Friday: Energy reserves empty. Sleep at 6:30.

Saturday: Birthday baby broke her present. Opps!

Sunday: All that work, must be done.

Shoot!

2008-11-07T16:25:00.009+01:00

It's still a mystery to me how people make it in the creative industry. How they take the giant leap from an ordinary life to standing on their own two feet, making a living from their ideas.
I want to produce documentaries and be the creative director of music videos. I want to publish photo-documentaries and do more portrait interviews.

Guess it's never too early, or too late.

I was so happy to find my film making friends from the Nairobi slums in Time magazine the other day.

And isn't it exciting that the guy who wrote Obama's masterpiece speeches is only 26, has no formal writing qualifications and started out as a volunteer in the Kerry campaign only 4 or so years ago?

There is hope.

The Norwegian dream, I suppose

2008-10-19T15:54:00.005+02:00

I watched a far-out Norwegian movie over the weekend, about two guys refusing to admit the world is moving on, that the laid back 70's are turning into the money-making 80's.

So they decide to sell tons of weed to finance their place in the mountains, where nostalgic hippies can come and live off mother naure till the end of their days. Grow their own weed and their own tea and just spend the days lazing around the bonfire with guitar in hand.

Guess theirs was just another version of the Norwegian dream. Take my parents for instance, they dream of finishing up their hut in the mountains, taking out an early retirement and becoming full-time sheep farmers.

---

There was a boy in Kenya, from a tribe close to the sacred forest. Just like my parents, he could never imagine a life without goats and fields of grass. And he kind of made it clear that he wouldn't mind marrying me.

-You can have a good life here. Far away from Nairobi. (smiling) You can build a house, big as you want!

Yes, I could have accepted his offer. Talk about the ultimate self-destruction.

So happy together

2008-09-28T16:13:00.013+02:00

Of all the situations I never thought I would find myself in, seeing an ex walk down the aisle ranks pretty high on the list.

Honestly, I wasn't planning on going until they, one night under the stars, asked me: -You are coming to our wedding, aren't you?

-Yeah, you must come!

Been looking forward to it for weeks now, and it turned out to be one of the most romantic, if not the most romantic wedding I've ever been to.

Definitely happily ever after.

Per Steinar: -Hey, Hilde wanna hear something funny? John S is married...

The guests
The food. Ethiopian midnight snack. Drool worthy. I'll gladly marry off another one of my ex-bfs if he puts this stuff on the menu.

Behind the scenes. O getting ready to rock the kasbah.

Why you so nice?

2008-09-24T09:38:00.005+02:00

If you are anything like me, if you have a weakness for pretty things from Scandinavia, Southern France and surrounding areas, don't read any further.

I found myself sleepless at my parents' place over the weekend, and after they'd gone to bed, I accidentally found this site. Stay out! Stay out!

As Gwen Stefani would put it: I want you all over me.

Dishes, dishes, dishes

2008-09-24T08:51:00.006+02:00

The morning is still young, I have piles of dishes to do, plenty of work to cross off my list, and I am expecting a call from the office any minute. Started the morning off with sugary remnants from last night's gathering at my place, swallowed it with some Kenyan chai. Think full cream milk, sugar and black tea -definitely not your skinny latte, haha! (yum!)

Had some friends from church over last night. We ate food bursting with carbs and fat, talked, prayed and read from the Bible about a foolish idiot who almost killed himself refusing to do as he was told. All of the above so not 2008. So politicaly incorrect.

In fact, I don't care. Being heartbroken for pretty much the first time in my life has left me hollow, so I decided to get involved in church again, to get a sense of meaning to it all.

It doesn't even bother me too much if God turns out to be imaginary, if the warm fuzzy feeling inside -kind of what you get before Christmas, is just a result of my own vivid imagination. The sense of hope for the future, the sense of being created for a great big things and loved for who I am, the believing in a miracle, if it all turns out to be just another illusion -no harm done. My faith makes me a happier person, it helps me sleep like a baby every night. Hallelujah, muahua ;-)

Sense and sensibility

2008-09-08T23:02:00.011+02:00

Today, I went shopping for winter clothes after work. Sensible, warm clothes for a change. (Mother will be proud.) It was a matter of not freezing my ass off this winter, but I must confess, I am rarely this matter-of-factly when it comes to shopping.

In my closet you'll find the Oh-my-life-is-ruined-I'll-never-see-him-again dress. Not to mention the Identity-crisis shoes, and the Only-two-days-till-I-see-him-again-seems-like-an-eternity tank top. And the Help-my-job-may-not-be-there-tomorrow sweater.

Next purchase: Super-hero-girl coat.

Golden oldies

2008-08-24T11:21:00.003+02:00

I owed Rene a night out, so we decided to have a chilled Saturday, and went for quick desserts in the tower.

As I am lining up to order at the bar, the guy in front of me suddenly turns around, fixing his eyes on me:

-Hilde?

-Yhmm, yeah, aaaaahmm..oh, Arve-larvae! I didn't recognize you without your hair!

Arve-larvae and I go way back, he was the first guy-friend I ever had, we even had a crush on each other for a short while, but that is insignificant.

We met on the first day of high-school, and one of the first things he disclosed to me, was how his biggest dream was to become a therapist. You could say I was his first (and last) therapy-project, cause he helped me completey get over my angst of talking to boys.

-I hear you got married? I ask politely.

He barely has time to confirm, before going on enthusiastically about his post-highschool carreer moves:

-You know, I went to law school, and landed the best job right upon graduation. But unfortunately, my company was swallowed by the wolves shortly after, so I had to go. So now we just bought a house, and I have no clue what to do about the whole situation. What do you do?

When I tell him I ventured into writing and public relations, he is beaming:

-I knew it! I still remember how our Norwegian-teacher showered you with praise after that interview you did with me! I'm not surprised you're becoming a writer.

As my ego is growing uncontrollably, our mutual friend Little Miss Tomboy rocks up to see what happened to Arve-larvae.

-Hi! We both smile at each other, it's the first time since 2002.

While Arve-larvae has shaved off all his hair, Little Miss Tomboy has let hers grow to unrecognizable lenghts.

-Oh, yeah, I haven't seen my hairdresser in the longest while, she laughs, tossing her golden blonde locks.

There is a light in her eyes and a genuine smile that I haven't seen before. The girl who used to cut her hair boyish short and dye it dark to match her mood, talks and looks like a reincarnation of Phoebe off Friends:

-So, Hilde who are you out with tonight?

-Oh, just a buddy that I used to study with.

-Ahah? Just a buddy or a bonking-buddy? (You wouldn't believe this girl landed a job with the Salvation Army)

-The former, I'm afraid, I am staying away from men from now until eternity.

We haven't seen eachother in six years, so I give her the ten-second version of my man-history, from high-school up until today. Whereby she supportively concludes:

-You were dating a Norwegian guy? Nooo, no wonder that didn't work out, you need someone more excotic.

Ego boost number two of the night. How I miss hanging out with my golden oldies.

Rene must be wondering what happened to me, so I reluctantly say goodbye to them. Turns out our table is next to theirs, so I get a sneak-peek of the petite platina blonde in the bright pink top, supposedly a pre-school teacher, supposedly Arve-larvae's wife of three years. Does the world move at the speed of sound? Is the tower spinning around?

Reggae night

2008-08-22T17:05:00.003+02:00

It ain't a hit if it hasn't got a reggae-version. (LOL)

Just a little something to kick-start the weekend.

All I need now is a matatu.

The beginning of the adventure

2008-08-08T13:50:00.003+02:00

However, I miss being safe, to have someone and something to come home to. Not to mention a proper home. But so I hear, this is only the beginning of the adventure.

There are a million ways of doing things, and you certainly can't take it all in at once. I know 22-year-olds who've been married for ages, going on their second home and their second child, living like respected members of the community, making an impact, making enough money, yet they have less education than your average 15-year-old. One day, they will go back to school.

And look at myself, renting a room in someone else's home, exchanging big bucks and upward mobility for a flexible work-situation, free to go wherever I want, whenever I want. Soon to add more prestige to my CV. Soon to take another trip around the world. One day, I will go home and settle down.

Back in the apartment

2008-08-03T00:44:00.000+02:00

After two weeks in paradise, it was time for a pit-stop on my parents' deserted island. I tried to get some work done, catch up on some sleep, but most of the time, I just found myself paralyzed on the couch, consumed by the fact I have no life on the deserted island. My brother kept me company, but he also has his job, his friends and his parties to tend to.

Thursday, I decided I'd had it, and the brother was sweet enough to take me back to town. -No wonder the mother finds him perfect.

Trondheim was livelier than I remember, and I felt like a tourist all day.

Back in the apartment, it struck me it looked like it belonged to a secret agent, someone ready to evacuate on the spot. No pictures on the wall, no furniture but a bed, a desk and a wardrobe. All white, even the curtains. Bed was stripped. No cosy blankets, no soft carpets on the floor. Just a few paperback books and some magazines stashed away on the desk.

-Woow, it smells funny in here..it is soo empty, is this where I live?? (live? live? echo? echo?)

The departed

2008-07-26T19:31:00.006+02:00

Bye bye S'pore! The holiday was fantastic, I have nothing more to say but thank you!

Changi Airport 5:50 a.m.

Poi-show at my neighbourhood arts-cafe -full of rich, very nice hippie kids that I almost had time to make friends with before I left.

Decent food, for once: -Hilde, you lost weight, do you even eat? - No, I haven't had any decent food since I left Singapore.

Threading: Eyebrow hairs plucked en masse in Indian beauty salon.

After church: Discussing the Singapore arts-scene with Natalie, over almond soup and Hong Kong ice tea at 'Just Desserts'.

Entertainment tonight: Thanks to Little Fattie, free lychee martinis at the Amara, Sentosa. Cheers!

Oh, and I finally got to hang out face to face with my friend Trish, blogger and English-teacher extraordinaire. On my Little India blind date with her and Edgar, they fed me with lots of interesting stories from Tokyo and Cambodia.

xoxo. See you soon!

A series of fortunate and less fortunate events

2008-07-15T18:18:00.005+02:00

Today, Scientist-Shari brought me to sneak peek at her lab at the hospital.

On the way back to her place, the rain came, so I put my handbag on my head for protection. Completely unaware of the phone in my front pocket, that kept doing it's own thing each time the bag bumped against my head. So before I knew it, it had sent off that killer message to home that I stored in my drafts folder while having a conversation with my very negative and destructive self in the middle of the night.

-Why are you tembling? Shari asked me.
-I think my phone did something really stupid, I replied.

So I had to leave her alone for a good 40 minutes to do long-distance damage control. I dare not open my next phonebill.

Fortunately, I got my distraction tonight, in the form of carreer woman Cecilia and her expatriate friends. Had some wine by the river, listened to their scandalous tales from corporate Singapore, soaked in the surroundings and just accepted the fact that my life will never be square -and I'd better get good at damage control.

In the news

2008-07-10T22:03:00.008+02:00

Housing prices in Singapore are on the rise. The job market is getting tighter, inflation will not be met by higher wages, and the government is desperately trying to convince people to make more babies.

And my friend Shari has to move out of her nice apartment, into a room and an elderly landlady who waits up for her at night.

Isabel is going home to China to give herself a break from job hunting.

And I mysteriously blew my budlget.

But why they want more babies, I don't understand. How can they possibly fit in another person on this crammed island?

I always dreamed of doing business here. With these realities, I'm not sure if I'm ready for it yet. Can I just sleep for five more minutes, please..

Oasis

2008-07-10T21:44:00.007+02:00

Welcome to supermarket shampoos, foreign hair in the shower, alarms going off in the middle of the night and zero privacy: The backpacker's hostel.

I'm not a seasoned backpacker, but I think I like life inside Sleepy Sam's.

But what's outisde is even better:

The Arab street area is the one spot in Singapore where life slows down.

By the sidewalks are muslim bookstores, Middle-Eastern cafes and Jazz bars. On the way to the train, I get attacked by men in long, white robes trying to sell me flying carpets (yeah, if they could actually fly I'd consider buying them). Belly-dance music and smoke from fruit tobacco lingers between the old, wooden shophouses.

Since I'm on holiday, I don't feel bad for just sitting here, drinking my Moroccan tea, eating dates and yoghurt while talking to home.

Singapore fling

2008-07-10T21:13:00.011+02:00

My best buddy and partner in crime waited for an hour and a half for my delayed plane to land. When I finally touched down, he took my bags and ushered me to the train. It felt like I'd only been away from Singapore for a week. Two years passed, but all that seemed different was his hairstyle. Until I met his new girlfriend -very adorable one.

Later on, the girls -now turned working ladies, joined us for traditional Hong Kong supper. Home is not here anymore, so I only have a week to gulp down as much decent food as I can.

Even beer tastes good in this place. Not to mention they play all my songs as I walk past the music stores, as I sit down to chill in a cafe. You've got to wonder why I was wired like a semi-asian.

Escaped to here:

2008-07-10T21:04:00.003+02:00

A good eight hours on the train, and voila, open sea, an idyllic lake to swim in and the best kebab one can get. Before flying off to Singapore, I spent the weekend down south with R&R. Not bad for Norway. Indeed the best domestic holiday I've had since I grew up.

Futon farewell

2008-06-28T08:52:00.006+02:00

Sitting in my room, waiting for my sister and brother to arrive with my new old bed. Since mine collapsed, and we carried the remnants down to the basement, I've been sleeping on a mattress on the floor. -Jap style, just a tad more comfortable.

I suggested my sister could stay here for free while I'm on holiday, if she was willing to give me her huge bed. Done deal! I'm beginning to believe I can succeed in the business-world after all.

Twenty-somethings

2008-06-22T03:54:00.005+02:00

I remember when we used to live in the big house with the scary landlady who would get us into trouble, and we would get a lawyer and keep a log of all her offenses.

I also remember my 20th birthday, when Marit wrote 'Hilde 20 år' on my cake and I was so touched I was about to tear. We are way past 20 now. And last week, when Marit came to town to celebrate her 25th, she had to do the writing on the cake herself. I was too busy talking to her relatives and eating chocolate. Grown-up life is brutal.

Nice food, birthday girl!

Milk and toast and honey

2008-06-21T20:02:00.003+02:00

..and champagne and coffee and cigars.

Yesterday's glorious culinary orgy marked the end of a terribly stressful period for me. That's what happens when everyone decides to celebrate their birthdays at the same time, and one wise manager decides he needs your journalistic skills.

Yes, that's right, the company that I registered last summer signed it's first contract just now. So for the past couple of weeks, when not in my regular office, I've been running from one interview to another, I've had meetings with graphic designers and gone for presentations and meet and greet sessions. It's just as enjoyable as Kenya Times, except this time I get paid my fair share.

I got my fair share of late nights too, so there were a couple of grumpy days in the office. But who cares when holiday is just around the corner?

Ah, soon!

Caving in

2008-06-21T04:17:00.002+02:00

Almost as bad as forwards in the mailbox: tags.

Greetings to Randi and Denise who thought of me while looking for victims to tag. Here we go:

Pick up the nearest book.
- Open on page 123.
- Find the fifth sentence.
- Post the next three sentences.

Nesten alle manipulatorer benytter seg av en av de følgende strategiene: Skremsler og følelser. Disse manipulatorene følger den uskrevne regelen om at du kan opptre så ufordragelig at folk gladelig gjør som du sier for å få fred.

From a paragraph on manipulation in a book called 'Vanskelige Kollegaer' (one of my favourites) 'Difficult Colleagues'

My colleagues are the best, however, but the book is serious entertainment.

-Oooh, and now I get to tag five people! Hmmm...Gunnar Inge (whenever you get back from your trip), Tricia, Tom, Kristian and Kelly. (sorry folks)

Wrong planet today

2008-06-10T16:27:00.004+02:00

I don't belong here. I belong in lala land.

Baggage drop

2008-06-03T05:23:00.006+02:00

Him: -Ah, you'd never guess what happened today, Hilde.

Me: -You tell me..

Him: -I got an e-mail from my ex. She appologized for the cruel treatment she gave me..

Me: -She wants you back?

Him: -Nonono, this happened like decades ago. She is happily married with kids now.

I'm kind of pressured these days, so all this dirt from yesteryear keeps resurfacing.

On my way home one late night last week, I came to the realization those people who hurt me back then may not have done it on purpose, after all. Even worse, it dawned on me I was still blaming them for all that went wrong, years later.

So I decided to forgive them and forget about it. Everyone from members of my family to ancient boyfriends and recent boyfriends to friends from my childhood years. What a relief. How will one end up in the end, if one keeps storing bitterness as if it were fine wine?

Why you so like that?

2008-05-27T22:41:00.005+02:00

Can of coke cannot. Can of pepsi can or cannot?

Got my tickets for Singapore a few weeks ago, and the day of departure being only a few weeks away, I thought I'd brush up on the Singlish.

Just to make sure that if I should run into Batman bin Suparman, we would be able to communicate.

I kid you not:

One (sweet) day, the bin Suparmans and I will babysit each other's kids, have Sunday brunch at the country club, and go for minibreaks in Langkawi and Hong Kong.

House-warming party

2008-05-02T01:08:00.009+02:00

There's a place I used to stay, when I was a traveller in need of rest, with two heavy bags and no roof over my head. Sometimes, I'd sleep on a mattress, in lucky times, I'd have a bed of my own.

Once, I stayed on for two years. And those were some of the happiest two years to date. But most of the times, I'd get moving. Back to distant lands, or just up the hill. But there are many of us, who will always call this place home.

Now, someone else is using the bed that once was mine. Someone who just landed as well. I wish you the best of times!

Freak-show

2008-04-23T16:48:00.006+02:00

Tommy-the-neighbour and Hilde are walking home from a hard day's work. The sun is shining, and it's warm enough to wear T-shirt only for the first time in 2008 (!)

H: -Hmm, seems like you are very open-minded about the people you hang out with. You seem to befriend all sorts of weirdoes.

T: -Yeah, being weird is a prerequisite for becoming my friend.

H: -Ah, so that's why you walk home with me, then.

T: -Exactly.

Day in and day out drama

2008-04-19T12:16:00.004+02:00

Mysteries unsolved: When I clean the hairs out of the shower every day, how come the drain is always clogged with eh..hair?

I visit the Mega supermarket so frequently, I know which employees I like and dislike over there (oh no, the sour lady, ok, I'm not having anything from the deli today), yet, my fridge is always empty and I'm ALWAYS out of bread.

I shop way past my budget, yet all I have to wear is dirty laundry. And I do laundry all the time, trust me. Today is another laundry day.

These are the things that make me envy the people who still live with their parents. -Don't worry, it's a no-go!

Upgrade

2008-04-19T11:45:00.004+02:00

The Egon restaurants used to be for tourists and people with zero creativity when it comes to choice of eatery.

Since I first moved here, ten years ago, the menu has been the same, the food has been dry, tasteless and severly overpriced.

Some brilliant, brave new chef must have passed through their security screening and just blasted out the truth:
Your food sucks!

I went there with my almost-namesister last night, and there was so much chili on my wok, I had to wash down every mouthful with water. Oh heaven!

A little overpriced, still, but worth every bit:

-Hilde, I know exactly how you feel, I've been there. In fact, my intuition seems to be spot on in most cases, and this I have a really good feeling about. Stay strong, I'll be praying for you!

I walked out of there with my nerves straightened out, faith renewed. Not to mention she is a gazillion times more enduring and brave than yours truly. Some people are just gold.

Press revisited

2008-04-19T11:24:00.007+02:00

Lucky me, I carefully timed my office appearance with the arrival of the photographer.

And the result:

The back of my head and half of my face showing up in Adressa and Aftenposten respectively.

I spoke to my mum about the articles today, I highly doubt she's read them at all, the only reaction I could get from her was:

-Hilde, that's a really handsome guy sitting by the computer next to yours, that Reksten guy.

Nice try, mum.

Back to you

2008-04-13T03:06:00.007+02:00

We have been scattered all over the place; Zanzibar, Holland, Brazil, stuck at work, stuck in school and stuck with the kids. I haven't seen some of these people in so long, I got slightly culture shocked with all of us hanging out together again.

Must do more!

Zzzz

2008-04-11T13:55:00.005+02:00

Have been working through the night for as long as I can remember. Woke up all starved out at five this morning, and decided I wanted nasi lemak. So I made it, ate it, had the longest shower, bounced around some, watched the news and read the latest cosmo.

By the time I got bored, the clock was ticking towards seven. By the time my flatmate woke up, I'd already had visitors and cleaned up the kitchen.

It's just past lunch, but I have decided to ditch all my plans and just call it a day. My life is just not that exciting nowadays. Good night!

Extreme ways

2008-03-29T22:39:00.007+01:00

I always wondered how or why people bacame goths, why gorgeous girls shaved their hair off or started wearing all black. Why some people became hallelujah extremists while others pierced/tattooed every square millimeter of their bodies, or stopped talking/eating/sleeping and ran off alone to the mountains for days and days.

Since I have now turned into an older and possibly wiser woman, it has come to my realization that extreme-in could lead to extreme-out. While you cannot always escape from your geographical location, you can always escape from yourself.

I've hit the first itsy bitsy road-bump since settling down, and with too much time on my hands here at my parents' deserted island, I've started fantasizing about moving to Tokyo and morphing into a Goth Lolita. But since I'm too old for that, I'll make do with my J-Pop.

Say what you want, they're really quite adorable.

For you a thousand times over!

2008-03-24T00:04:00.007+01:00

After all that hype, The Kite Runner's definitely worth it for almost free. So I thought, and took it home with me.

The book turned out to be captivating and extremely touching. Just like a good book should, it keeps you looking at the time, itching to get home to read some more. I especially recommend reading it after many sleepless nights and ridiculously early mornings.

Or even worse, when terribly lovestruck and (senti)mental.

"For you a thousand times over!" (sob, sob)

My eyes are sore and red after spending the latter half of my Sunday reading.

A birthday drama

2008-03-09T13:11:00.021+01:00

Once you're closer to 30 than you are to 20, it is inevitable: Your father mentioning your wedding (what wedding, dad?) on the phone, evil little sister taking the liberty to call you old, your mum asking what you're going to do with the rest of your life, as if all the answers magically appeared at midninght on your 26th birthday.

Friends reading your mind over the phone, the being caught sobbing in your room, while listening to sad, sad song. The realization it doesn't matter, they understand perfectly well. And the total turnaround when it sinks in they are always there, sometimes even with wine and bonzai treas, exclusive make-up pouches and vibrating rubber ducks. -I heart you!

Plotting evil plans with evil little sister over hot chocolate fondant. Observing smug couples, downing daqiris and cosmopolitans, enjoying the feeling of being a character out of Bridget Jones' Diary.

Coming home, all happy yappy, sitting down trying to plan the rest of your life.

Thank you for messages and cards and well-wishes. Impossible not to feel special.

Not seeing is believing

2008-03-08T11:13:00.001+01:00

Spirituality is a hot topic at work nowadays. Conversations ranging from reincarnation vs. heaven, to meta-physics to demon posessed men, possible ghost sightings and the fact that prayer releases dopamine into your system.- And do I feel stigmatized as a Christian in Norway?

What better than to celebrate one year as a working woman with my church-friends? We switched off all the lights, lit a bunch of candles and got the guitar and African drum out.

My God has been good to me, I got way more than I dared hope for and ask for. (I know I sound like an old, African woman with fifty grandkids, I know..)

Good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!

2008-03-07T00:48:00.003+01:00

I am back to working a lot of nights. This morning, I was fortunate enough to have the company of my colleague, Tommy-the-neighbour, on the bus home.

- The funny thing about working during the night, is that everything becomes so surreal, he said.

I couldn't not agree with that one. In fact, it feels equally surreal during the day, sometimes.

People have started to leave for Easter. To go way up north, to the wild west, the far east. And did I mention down south? Bon voyage to y'all!

I have started on my wishlist for the summer holidays, but for now I am quite content with taking the bus between work, town and home.

Because it feels like I've been to Mars and back since the last time I left the country.

To be continued.

The things you hate

2008-02-24T18:54:00.002+01:00

I bet you hate it when someone asks you to commit to something for an indefinite period of time, when they get on your nerves and you just want to scream at them. Or, when he or she becomes such a big problem, you just want to tell them to piss off and stop bugging you. When you see how grey the sky is, your shoes are soaked, and everything becomes a drag. And you'd rather just stay in bed.

I have stayed here in this town for nine months now, and it has taken me this long to get there. Truth is, I am thrilled to have the privilege of spending enough time with you, so you can get on my nerves. I love hitting the occasional bump in the road, because it gives a sense of (slowly) growing up when I decide to stay and work it out instead of running away.

I was thrilled when Susanna asked me to help her out, when the PCs at work made me explode in the middle of the night and I didn't care if my colleague saw me.

My life is almost normal now, and that alone is enough to make me sleep better at night. Oh well, it's all relative..

HAE

2008-02-21T20:49:00.002+01:00

HI, ITS LONG TYM HV NOT HEARD FRM U. HOW U DOING ANYWAY?

WOULD LYK TO KNOW YOU BEING WELL OR SAYING SMTHING

BYE, HIT BACK

Got this from a good old colleague today. Thought I'd steal it and make it my greeting to you. Peace out!

From one extreme to another:

PS. Darling, I am going to sell my pony.

The old and restless

2008-02-13T19:40:00.008+01:00

My girlfriends are agonozing over the fact that 30 is now closer than 20. Having made many 30+ friends lately, I couldn't care less. My 42-year-old flatmate is even more childish than me, and he's far from the only one.

What freaks me out, on the other hand, is that I am no longer in a hurry to move away. I never used to have peace about staying here for a long time. Not until now. My nightmare used to be waking up at the age of 80, realizing I never got around to packing those bags, embarking on that adventure.

This article, about 102-year-old Briton Eric King-Turner who just moved to the other side of the world to start a new life with his wife in NZ, calmed my nerves.

His reason for moving now?

"What's important is that when I'm 105 I don't want to be thinking, 'I wish I had moved to the other side of the world when I was 102'."

Seems like I have all the time in the world.

Bye, bye blues

2008-02-05T21:50:00.000+01:00

It's time to celebrate Chinese New Year in a couple of days. Guess that's why IKEA's oriental department decided to spalsh out on this advertizing banner. Very glamourous, colourful, attention-grabbing and pleasing to these eyes.

I had to look at it several times to make sure this was really IKEA and not IEKA or IKAE.

What happened to my tasteless, plain blue and yellow IKEA? What did they do to the shop that serves the world meatballs with no flavour, that sells furniture that blends in with your walls; the epitome of Scandinavian modesty and anonymity?

-I don't know, but this, we like!

ps. IKEA, can I get my money now, please.

The prettiest thing

2008-01-30T00:05:00.000+01:00

I ever saw, was fearlessness. We talked about it today. How to be brave, and humble enough to face your fears and your defeats head-on.

And you think fearless people were born into believing that everything is indeed possible? No, they just decided one day they would do all the things they would have done if they were the fearless person they always wanted to be.

A brief history of the past three weeks

2008-01-28T01:09:00.000+01:00

Has it really been that long since I blogged? To my defense, I should say that time may very well be an illusion created by our limited human brains, in order to make sense of the world around us. -Of ourselves.

In fact, Einstein claims time is like a river, speeding up at some places in the universe, slowing down elsewhere. That can only mean I am right; When you are having a fabulous time, the clock speeds up;

Like last week's turkey-dinner with that part of the family I only see once a year, Marianne's farewell weekend, and home-alone-evenings spent comfortably on the couch, listening to the wild weather outside. Not to mention after-dark discussions about our perception of time, demons and the invisible world, when you feel crazy enough to admit you believe in all sorts of things unseen.

"You have a certain amount of craziness in you, Hilde," my landlord stated during such a discussion on Saturday. I better shut up, or else he will find out exactly how right he is.

Cold-play

2008-01-06T17:17:00.000+01:00

Happy new year, friends!

May 2008 blow your minds, just like 2007 did mine. You deserve it, I love you all very much.

My 2008 started off just as brilliantly surprising as did 07. Think heavy snow, paralyzing cold, a farm on top of the hill, panorama view of all the fireworks, lots of horses, starry skies, three living rooms and a ball room, fireplace in the kitchen and a summer house by lac du Mjøsa.

I just wanted to dedicate this Coldplay masterpiece to my readers. I know some of you don't particularily fancy Chris Martin, personally, I think his songwriting is out of this world. Enjoy!

ps. What we didn't know about Mr. Martin:

William Willett, the inventor of daylight saving time, is Martin's great-great-grandfather.
Martin is ambidextrous, he writes with his left hand, plays the guitar the orthodox way and draws with his right hand. (Wikipedia)

What's the story, morning glory?

2007-12-29T01:06:00.000+01:00

Early morning SMS from work: Hi, can you be in Trondheim 13:30 today? NRK is coming here to do a story.

Certainly enough to get us all rocketing out of bed. What I love the most about work; the occasional adrenaline-rush.

(Un)Fortunately, the camera left the building before we all got to town, so no need to worry about one's own face popping up on the national news.

And the story?

"Now you can get crisis alerts via SMS when abroad"
--> Watch it here.

Those walls we stare into every day, a computer screen we've seen before, and a very familiar voice. Only this time seen through the TV screen. How amusing. -Well done!

Part two

2007-12-28T19:02:00.000+01:00

Back in town, reunited and ready for Christmas part two, a slightly louder, more colourful event.

The parents' place was nice indeed, but in the end, the sister and I were getting a bit tense, I started walking around in circles, checking my phone every two minutes, fantasizing about salads and chilli-infested semi-vegetarian dishes.

Revisited

2007-12-25T23:59:00.002+01:00

After being dropped off after the last day of work for the year, it dawned on me what I've been up to in 2007. How very surreal:

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways," declares the LORD.
⁹"For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways
And My thoughts than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:9)

Word!

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be

2007-12-13T23:31:00.000+01:00

I must have picked the right friends, cause they all keep reinventing themselves; going away, coming back as totally different people. Yet still the same. All the memories intact. First in line, Marianne back from Kenya. -Karibu sana!

Maybe it is a sign of wisdom, discovering grey hairs coming out to play (quite a few of them too, shock, horror!!). A taste of life down the line, along with sentimentality and laughs over past adventures. Thinking we used to be much crazier back then.

Sending your friends mushy emails out of the blue, initiating conversations about the good old days, doing business with people you know, realizing they want to know you for the business only and learning to live with it, are all tell tale signs you're turning into a grown-up.

Is it possible to un-subscribe to some parts of this grown-up life?

Good company

2007-12-10T21:32:00.000+01:00

Found this gem of a self-help book in Susanna's bookshelf last night, and we had a good laugh about it. Can you believe it was first published in 1936 (!). The back-cover makes it just as appealing today, as it was 72 or so years ago:

"A 1936 bestseller. Who can resist a book with chapters such as 'A Lady and Her Liquor,' 'Pleasuresof a Single Bed' and 'Solitary Refinement'? In this priceless gem from a more genteel age, Marjorie Hills provides a no-nonsense to living alone and, yes, liking it!"

How timely. Currently daydreaming about moving into a proper home, merging plans with my better half (where in the world are you??), and not having to wake up alone. I miss someone to argue with too. But seriously, better off in solitude than in bad company. Will read the book and brainwash myself now.

XXS

2007-12-06T19:53:00.000+01:00

Must confess: Most of the time nowadays, I feel euphoric/extatic/purposeful/at the right place at the right time/very blessed/extremely thankful/ very special/ privileged/etc.

But just for today, for absolutely no reason, feeling like a ten-year-old looking through the fence, wondering what it is like to hang out with the cool, big kids. So small, barely visible. So drained. So ready for bed.

-Ironically, big people strive to be small. And the big kids just want to be young like you again.

Positivism

2007-12-02T02:57:00.000+01:00

You think you are happy. Then you talk to miss negative for a while, and suddenly EVERYTHING is wrong about your life. So the happiness was just an illusion you built for youself, after all.

Sanna is even more optimistic than me. She always tries to see things from the brighter side. No wonder she gets yelled at all the time.

-Seriously Sanna, you are getting on my nerves, do you always have to be so damn positive??

And so the story goes. There’s always someone out there with bigger problems than you.

Wonderland-to-be

2007-11-28T13:49:00.000+01:00

Culture-shock, part 1:

Argh, I slept too late last night, suddenly overwhelmed by all the possibilities; I was looking at apartments, the IKEA catalogue, my love life (non existent), and everything else under the sun. Thinking that everything was much easier when I was in university, all tied up and short on cash.

Everything becomes so difficult and complicated in the middle of the night, as if you're searching for problems. When my appointed therapist logged off MSN, I went to sleep only to dream a nerve wrecking dream, scary as a thriller -and twice as confusing. This morning, a terrible headache sent me straight back to bed.

I am recovering, and have already decided which bed, which desk and which lamp to buy from IKEA. I am going for the Thai-resort meets an urban Alice in Wonderland look. Really looking forward to going shopping! Still getting accustomed to having permanents in my life, as you probably can tell. Buying furniture, talk about culture-shock!

First impressions

2007-11-26T00:27:00.000+01:00

Introduction to American culture, part 2:

Thanksgiving party with turkey, stuffing, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole and pumpkin pie. Followed by movie called American gangster.

At the party met some adorable new people. One of them reminded me so much of my roomie from highschool, I felt like I'd known her for years. Her friend, a mathematician that looks like she works for a fashion magazine, stated that: -It doesn't matter if you are overdressed, an opportunity to dress up should never go to waste. (lol) -Like at first sight, indeed.

And like at first sight, usually means like. But dislike at first sight can very often turn into like.

As with the movie we watched later on in the evening. Any movie with the word 'gangster' in the title is enough to make me hesistate. To go or not to go? I am so glad I landed on 'go', cause it turned out to be one of the best movies I've seen, once past those brutal first scenes.

You only get one shot at making a first impression, but it is never too late to blow someone's mind. As true for favourite movies as it is for favourite people.

-Are you with me, are you listening?

G33K 5P33K

2007-11-23T16:20:00.000+01:00

Hilde is learning HTML,unexpectedly. Testing, testing. Lost in translation...

Void

2007-11-16T18:06:00.000+01:00

This week that just passed, I got a small taste of life as an unemployed person. One day, as I was waiting for the time to hit whatever, so that I could go out and do whatever, I happened to stumble upon this article; 'After Succeeding, Young Tycoons Try, Try Again'. What happened to the young silicon valley millionaire after eBay bought his PayPal-baby, and he no longer had to spend 18 hours out of his day in the office?

-He thought he would spend the time after the sale “exploring my inner self.” Instead, he spent the better part of 12 months “feeling worthless and stupid” and baffled by what he might do with the remainder of his life. He felt too young to retire or downshift a gear or two — and too restless to become a philanthropist.

“I enjoy sitting on nice beaches and hanging out with my girlfriend and playing with my dog, but that’s three hours a day,” Mr. Levchin said. “What about the remaining 18 hours I’m awake?” (NY Times)

So, I'm not quite there yet, as far as responsibilities and income are concerned, but I could not not relate to this. Maybe I've had too many weeks of holiday this year, but going for coffee, watching movies, having your friends over and reading books are best enjoyed when you are not doing it full-time. I thank God things are somewhat back to normal. My prayers must have worked.

-And it's time to go shopping:

Back

2007-11-11T03:18:00.000+01:00

Slightly crazy, sleep-deprived week. A lot of insecures and unknowns going on, not to mention my job got reshuffled, again.

Last night, I switched off my phone, and with it died the alarm. Woke up at 2:30 this afternoon, and felt like myself again.

Went back to the tower tonight, to have dinner with David and Rene. Haven't had the chance to hang out with them in the longest while, but could feel my shoulders sinking as we got settled at our table. Nothing gets my excitement going like new, interesting people to befriend, but tonight, just felt like talking boring nonsense and putting on an experimental outfit. No explanation needed. We bitched about politicians and planned a skiing trip. Closer to uni days one doesn't get without purchasing a time-machine.

And, as Sivi pointed out, Marianne will be home in one month -exactly, from today. Nothing beats Christmas time, when EEEVERYONE comes back to town. I miss you terribly!

2:50

2007-11-08T02:50:00.001+01:00

...

All the action in lala land

2007-11-05T23:51:00.000+01:00

Last night, I dreamt that I was in New York City, standing on top of the tallest buildings you can imagine. I was petrified, holding on to desks and chairs, refusing to go outside on the rooftop. (Would never happen in real life, be sure of that!) But there were a couple of unidentified guys (angels indeed) in the background, telling me it wasn't dangerous at all. And before I knew, I was out there, looking down at the street miles below -with a very spinning head. And then I woke up. So close, so close!

Once out of bed, things were more down to Earth. Still, a nice day; apartment looks very nice after I cleaned it, nice dinner, very nice dinner guests that even dared to taste my nice green tea ice-cream, nice flatmate listening to my worrying. Touched.

Think will go for nice walk now.

-Arrrgh, still cannot believe how close I got to being on top of the world, standing up, feeling it sway!

Treat

2007-11-01T15:01:00.001+01:00

Happy belated halloween!

I will not remember the day for the perfect windy, rainy weather, for the no-show jacko lanterns or my lack of costume.

I will remember it as the day I had fun measuring my heart rate (geeks have more fun), for the lunch with my sis in the revolving Tyholt Tower (empty fridges are sometimes a blessing), and ofcourse the halloween bash with the Americans:

-and the zebra. (not a racoon)

Exactly what we want to hear

2007-10-24T17:42:00.000+02:00

This morning was a humble beginning of a day, to say it the least:

And his response to my rant:

"There is no bad hair day for you, you look beautiful every day."

Thank you, my friend -and star of the day. Fifty percent of the world's population has a lot to learn from you.

A look in the mirror

2007-10-24T00:47:00.000+02:00

Just in case you've ever wondered:

To me, it makes perfect sense for fashion conscious, sharp-edged Marge to choose Homer. The fact that he drinks beer and watches football all day just makes him more human, in all his extraordinariness (I think I just made that word up...) It also confirms his status as not just a mere man, but a maan. (Where I get this idea of ultimate masculinity is unknown, as my dad never touches alcohol and loves to hate football, and he is not a freak..)

Just like my sister Marge, I couldn't fall for a mirror image of myself if my life depended on it. The most recent and striking example being my new landlord, whose similarities to the author of this post are rather freak-ish;

We listen to the same world music that nobody else has heard of, you cannot tell which shelf belongs to whom in our fridge,cause we have all the same groceries. mostly juice and more juice. We have the same tolerance level for messiness, and we go to bed around 3 am if we can choose. We both love to live in places, not just travel, and we share a passion for big city life, tall apartment blocks and theories about group dynamics and personality types. I swallow his management books raw, he is the only person outside work who understands perfectly well what i am actually doing when in the office. He works on weekends, and nights too. Beats me.

But give me a Homer, and all is bliss...

ps. I never understood women, either.

Sweet dreams from now on

2007-10-20T03:34:00.000+02:00

The woolen jumpers are resting in the cupboard, the suitcase is empty,
all the clothes are clean and hanging neatly on brand new hangers.

Yours truly is scrubbed and exfoliated, manicured and pedicured
-and the fridge is full.

There are 3.5 hours left of the last night-shift (for now), and the first dinner guest has inspected my new casa.
My laptop is reconnected to the internet,
and the mother has penned down my new postal address.

Moving-houses-week, visiting-the parents-week,
shopping-for-boring-household-items-week is finally over.

You know those wonderful goosebumps and shivers you get as your bum hits the couch and you lean back on a Friday night?
The ones that kick in after a whole week's worth of tension
runs down your back and leaves your body for good?

Enough said..

Back to the roots

2007-10-17T03:59:00.000+02:00

I went home to casa Gudvangen early this week. I stayed a couple of days, ate, slept, got a little fatter and discussed everything from politics to prozac and mental patients with my parents. (the mother is a highly opinionated nurse). And I fished out all the wollen sweathers I packed down, never to be seen ever again, just a couple of months ago. Talk about defeat.

And it was so quiet, I even had time to psycho-analyze my childhood:

H: Hey, mum, I just realized why I get along with foreigners so much.

M: ...

H: Because I felt like one my whole life. Cause you never let us live like all the other kids around here.

M: Yeees, we did...

H: No you didn't. I wasn't allowed to watch anything on TV, I couldn't go to any parties, not even with my classmates. I have no cultural baggage from this place whatsoever. It is just as if I grew up somewhere else.

H: Just like the foreigners. This is not home to me, either.

much later...

M: But no parent is perfect, we realize our mistakes, but at the same time, did you not have a good time here?

H: No, and yes. But I am grateful today. That could have been me living with a truck driver, having two kids, making a living from cleaning up after old, messy people. Easily!

Eaily pleased?

2007-10-11T20:09:00.000+02:00

As I see my childhood dreams coming to pass, -How impossible weren't they back in the days?- I pray that I will never look at amazing things with anything but umm..amazement.

I pray that I will never eat enough cookie dough for it to become anything but extraordinarily delicious. Yum!

(photo courtesy of postsecret)

Clash of civilizations

2007-10-07T08:57:00.000+02:00

You think you know everything, you think you're always right, and then someone comes along reminding you of the existence of the rest of the world.

How humbling. I need to travel more. And read more.

p.m to a.m.

2007-10-04T20:42:00.000+02:00

Not-exactly-strangers in the night.
My good ol' classmate Rene joined me in the office last night, just to see what life in his potential new company is really like.

The night is still young, but the dude does not have as much practice staying up all night as yours truly.

Posing. Pretending to be tired, cause it is politically incorrect to love the night shift and be wiiide awake at 5 a.m., dancing around in the office when nobody is watching. It is also politically incorrect to have fallen in love with monday mornings, or thursday mornings, the cold air, the tired morning faces, the hustle and bustle. Sometimes I go for a coffee by myself, to make it last longer.

Note the time.

Gaining back my faith

2007-10-03T11:21:00.000+02:00

The lot has fallen to me
-It's a fair ground, it's a fair ground
(Rudyard Kipling)

I told Oddrun yesterday, that the reason why I still believe in God, is because of my slightly unconventional lifestyle. I tend to operate with very small margins, and don't even dare to think about what will happen if plan A doesn't work out. Cause there is rarely a plan B.

Modern day miracles;
This is how I ended up in Nairobi for the second time in less than a month. This is how I was able to leave Nairobi in one piece. This is how I found the guts to apply for my current job -and no other job.

And this is how I finally managed to find my own place to stay, a place I wasn't supposed to get. But the uber -cool landlord must have thought my plans of relocating to SG over Christmas really rocked.

Deposit free. First month free. The one I wanted the most, cause it was on floor 11, and came with a balcony overlooking my favourite part of town.

Quote Harald: "You managed to find a Norwegian HDB"

Dancing little marionette

2007-09-23T14:55:00.000+02:00

Over a late and delicious breakfast this "morning" Gunn introduced her latest craze, the Derren Brown show.

-Fascinating...Watch for yourself to see how susceptible we really are to subliminal influence:

-What you really,really want for Christmas

Eye opening, for sure. And ofcourse this paranoid girl couldn't help but thinking she was the subject of such mind control;

Lately, I've been surprised by my own choices. Like deciding to postpone my Singapore move until after Christmas, loving the thought of another three months here. Cause suddenly, my predictable small-town life is very appealing.

Suddenly, I find myself succeeding at things I am pretty sure I don't know how to do.

Suddenly, I find myself taking pleasure in things that I am pretty sure I used to find boring not too long ago. Is this what they call growing up, or am I being brain washed?

Don't worry, the adventurous spirit is not completely quenched yet, this is what I want for Christmas:

LOL! Absolutely brilliant!

Supper at Kelly's

2007-09-18T13:20:00.000+02:00

I literally jumped, cause the invitation read: 'Come NICELY dressed'. There are too few occasions to dress up here in this town. Everytime something remotely related to a high heel event pops up, it turns out to be a jeans and t-shirt happening.

Better so, the hostesses were dressed in brightly coloured tailor-made dresses straight out of Uganda, cause the theme happened to be 'Uganda'. Kelly went around with a mug and a tub, washing everyone's hands. Just like being back in Kenya. Who would have thought it would be such a classy affair?

Mooooon river, wiiiiiiider t han a mile, I'm crossing you in styyle somedaaay!

That time of the year

2007-09-16T04:48:00.000+02:00

If it wasn't for the red man, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the original and the B&W version of this photo.

The art of sweet talking perfected

2007-09-15T05:05:00.000+02:00

Nameless demonstrates how to melt a girl's heart; Kenyan music at it's best.

..Oh, I wish I could be your saliva, so that I could taste your lips whenever...

...I ENVY your hipster...

...I wish I could be your shoe, I would have such a beautiful view..

...if only I could be your body-lotion..

-Somebody give me a mute geek, please!

Mind you

2007-09-13T22:42:00.000+02:00

Last night, I discovered it was much easier to think clearly when looking in the mirror, eye to eye. It helps to see the person you're talking to, even if that person happens to be yourself.

Not everyone aggrees, however. I happen to have a friend who takes his friends for walks. He just talks to them about anythig and everything. Except his lips are not moving, and he is alone the whole time. His imaginary companions doing something else, unaware of the fact that they're out walking.

He once told me, when we were on an actual walk together, that he'd taken me out several times.

Quirky? I'll give you quirky;
When I am annoyed, really annoyed, I get a terrible itch in my legs. Deep inside the bones. When I told my mum, she assured me the exact same thing happens to her. So, weirdness apparently runs in the family.

And that is not all, when I am really head over heels, and I am thinking about HIM, I sneeze. A lot! I do sneeze for other reasons also, just to make that one clear.

There has been very little sneezing lately, but that might change, now that I am down with flu or malaria or whateveritis.

And it struck me, why explore the universe, when there are still so many unanswered questions about the human body, especially our quirky minds, our souls and spirits? (Do we even have a spirit?)

In fact, why leave the house, let alone the continent, when you can watch movies and drink hot water and be as blissful as ever?

PS.If I am feeling better tomorrow, and my adventurous spirit comes back, I might not agree with what I just wrote...

iMother?

2007-09-08T13:38:00.000+02:00

Presentation? -Bring it on!
Interview a popstar? -No problem!
Working on another continent? Awesome!
Writing a 20-page report in one day? -I was born to do it!

However...

Looking after my friend's baby for a few hours in the morning while she is at a seminar?

Probably the greatest challenge ever thrown at me. And I was determined to succeed.

Babies are humbling, when they cry, and you don't know what to do, you feel completely and utterly helpless. Personally, I don't remember last time I felt so incompetent.

You try to remain composed and smiling, when all you want to do is yell. And there's the constant fear of them throwing a tantrum when out amongst people, attracting pitiful glances.

Women are constructed to take care of small humans, so when they don't behave like angels, you feel like there is something wrong with you. Equivalent to a man who neither is interested in football nor 70's rock music.

And, they have a tendency to make you feel like a heartless capitalist bitch when you -after babysitting for a whole morning- feel like kissing your computer, overflowing with affectionate emotions towards your office equipment.

We all need an outlet for our love. Some people, unlike myself, pour this emotion overload out on their kids. While some of us live and breathe for our carreers, superficial chit-chat and coffee with our GROWN-UP friends.

I could gladly be a mother -if only the kids arrived in my life through my front door, well mannered and lovable, preferably at the age of say...five?

Don't thank heaven for this one

2007-09-04T13:46:00.000+02:00

I am always starving, yet I am gaining rather than losing weight.
I am always behind my food budget, yet my fridge is always empty.
I always drool over hot food, yet I eat hot food 3 times a day.
I never spent more on food, yet I have never been more malnourished.
I never cook, yet I have never had less time on my hands than nowadays.
I don't usually go to restaurants, yet I eat out at least twice a day.

Who am I?

Correct answer: A workaholic going to 7/11 for all her meals.

Note to self: Stay far away from that place!

Last night, I went to a delicious Italian restaurant, and tonight I am going for Chinese. My body is rejoicing, and so are my tastebuds. I also plan to go to the supermarket to buy whole grain pasta and vegetables. *Drool*

In the air

2007-08-29T22:55:00.000+02:00

Something is going to happen soon, something is going to happen soon, something unexpected is going to happen soon. For sure.

I don't know what, but this girl feels like a mouse sitting on the railway, feeling the faint vibrations of a train miles away. Like a crab on the seashore sensing a tsunami on the other side of the ocean.

Today feels different. Just another day at work. But the phone has been ringing a lot more than usual, and I almost got a little interested in football when the power went off all over town, and delayed Rosenborg's make or break match by almost an hour.

I have a good feeling about this.

-Maybe the football vibes have hit me, maybe they will win tonight??

Shelter

2007-08-21T11:24:00.000+02:00

A conversation that took place inside this lovely office building -my new home- at seven thirty this morning. Hilde has just finished her 9th night watching over the world, making sure hurricane Dean doesn't take our customers by surprise. On top of that, one early morning meeting, that left her just as unknowing and insecure about the future as she was yesterday, and the day before:

Boss: Ok, sleep well, we'll see you next week.

Hilde: Yeeah..ehrmmm..aah...I think I'll just stay here and start working on the project right away.

B: ??

S&T: ???

H: Yeah, I kind of don't have anywhere else to go, I am homeless. (laughs)

All I wanted was to go home and sleep. But where the *#@$$%%$#@@!! is home???? (sleep deprived dramaqueen goes to cry in the toilet, decides to leave, cannot get anything done in this state)

My very nice friend, who lent me his apartment for the summer, wanted it back a couple of days ago. So while waiting to leave, I find myself on the Trondheim merry-go-round. While finishing my night shift marathon I've been staying at Trondheim's very own Camden family (Remember 7th heaven?); my neighbours and friends from church.

Tonight I am going to David and GI's place. Looking forward to a few days off work. Thank you all for saving me! And thank you, work, for being a quiet, structured haven in my chaotic existence. -Never thought I would say this.

I always disliked routine, though.

Somewhere in the world

2007-08-15T10:00:00.000+02:00

Heyho, I am getting a little taste of what my mum has been through the last 20 or so years. I am not talking motherhood, I am talking working all night, not getting to sleep all day.

It is 10.04 in the morning, and I am about to roll down the blinds and bury myself in pillows and blankets. Fingers crossed I will manage to fall asleep.

Conveniently,somewhere on this planet, it is 11.04 at night this very moment.

Now, where would that be, where I could go just now and not be jet lagged at all?

Tadaaa: Kamchatka! Lucky me.

Closer, we like!

2007-08-13T19:24:00.000+02:00

Phone salesman: Heeey, heeeey, is this Hilde I am talking to?

Me: Oh, yes It is!

PS: Heey, heeey, Hilde! I guess you don’t want to spend the whole afternoon talking to me.

Me: No, I don’t haha…

PS: Well, I was just wondering what you think of our magazine, Det Nye.

Me: Weell, it’s been a while since I read it. Oh, and if you are trying to sell it to me, you might as well give up, cause I don’t really live in Norway, you see. Heheheh (muahua!)

PS: Oh, well then I won’t bug you anymore, that was quite a devilish laughter I heard from you there, hehe!

Me: Ok, and I won’t bug you anymore either, bye! LOL!

It wasn’t a lie! That conversation made my day; I really AM going back to Singapore for an indefinite period of time. Anywhere between two and five weeks, and I’ll be off (If all goes well with the paperwork). I’ve known for a while already, but now it’s so close I can actually FEEL it!

I went to May’s farewell party on the weekend. It was a sweet affair,literally; We made smoothies and stuffed ourselves with chocolate and youghurt nuts.

She’s moving to Sweden, and I am really happy for her.

-It is not that I don’t like it here, she explained to me.

-But something is pulling me there.

Girl, I can totally relate, lah!

Smelly cat

2007-08-10T11:51:00.000+02:00

To the kids I might have one day: Good news! I will not force you to go on meaningless trips to rotten cabins just because it has been a family tradition for the last 50 generations.

This week was my annual trip into the wild. Marit ad Ole G dragged me along. Day one was absolutely marvelous; Bright sunshie, coffee and waffles underneath the big tree outside the beautiful Meland family country home. After lunch, we went chasing waterfalls in Ingdalsfossen. I was told it was a popular place to go swimming, but I could never imagine it was the manifistation of my childhood fantasies:

Huge, deep dams surrounded by cliffs, so you could just jump right in. In between the dams, small waterfalls, natural jacuzzis and strong currents, so you could let yourself drift away while watching the clouds.

Afterwards, back to the farm for a delicious dinner. -This place is perfect, I'd rather stay here tonight, I thought to myself, as we were packing up to go to the cabin in the woods.

But the cabin exceeded my expectations. We beat he cold by lighting up the fireplace, opened a bottle of wine and threw some juicy, garlic marinated chops on the bbq. We beat the silence by discussing hopeless religious and political topics.
-And the true meaning of being 'down to earth.'

I woke up several times that night in the wild: 1) It was raining. 2) It was cold. 3) It was freezing cold, I need a duna! 4) It is still raining. 5) I need to go to the toilet. 6) What time is it now, I still need to go to the toilet. 7) Alarm clock, it must be 11.

Getting out of bed, the whole place, myself included, smelling of garlic, meant game over. The place was cold now, I was in desperate need of a shower, my feet were freezing and my trousers were soaked and smelly.

The trip didn't help me get in touch with my true self, it didn't give me the feeling of finally coming home, I didn't meet my soulmate and future husband either, what a waste! (haha)

But it did make my bedroom in Trondheim feel like the Burj al Arab, and the buzz from the train station down the road, sounded like angels singing last night.

Mission accomplished!

PATD

2007-08-10T11:27:00.000+02:00

Her foot has a small wound on top, as if she’d been wearing flip flops for the first time in ages, or maybe just trying out new sandals? –Just like me hehe.

His eyes are pretty red, as if he’s been crying a lot recently…trouble in paradise or allergic to pollen?

We haven’t seen each other in a long time, but he looks way better now, that he can afford to buy new trousers when the old ones become too short. (hahaha)

She is the nicest, sweetest, most helpful lady you could possibly find at a university admin office, and mind you, there she has a small poster hanging up in a corner of the wall. “ Winner of the sunshine prize.” Yes, I would let her win as well!

Pay Attention To Deatails; A whole new universe of stories opens up to those who stop and look a little closer. Too bad I am too lazy to do it every day. Exhausted!

Happy happy!

2007-08-09T16:31:00.000+02:00

Happy 42nd Singapore!

I have so much to tell, i don't know where to start...still have a couple of days off work, so we'll see what gets splashed out on my blog.

We are all sotongs

2007-07-26T20:44:00.000+02:00

What is it with us twenty-somethings, that makes us feel like our lives are about to end soon?
Overwhelmed with the task ahead, we give ourselves five years tops, to get it all together; kids, wives and husbands (a millionaire plz) and top-end jobs. On top of it all, we want to visit every country in the world before the kids start popping out. No wonder we feel just about short of good enough all the time.

I know only one person who doesn't care. I bet he sleeps much better than me at night.

“"Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”" Proverbs 3:5-6

Rock City

2007-07-16T19:25:00.000+02:00

The rain clouds are leaving mustache-city, aka Trondheim. People I know are once again popping their heads out to say hi, and I no longer have to borrow-steal my sister's jacket.

Work is fab, even though none of us have superpowers, I feel like we are doing a pretty good job watching over the world and all the travellers and holiday makers out there. Big sister is watching you all.

Seems like a holiday is coming up for me too, at the end of the summer. I will be touring southern Norway before relocating back to Marine Crescent. Cannot wait to see you all, it has been way too long, and you absolutely rock my world!

India'Song

2007-07-13T22:52:00.000+02:00

When I went to Karen E's place the other day, I was absolutely thrilled to discover she had the Tyra Banks show intro on her computer. Since I couldn't go outside the house after seven when in Kenya, I would watch Tyra show every single evening. India.Arie is the genious behind the beautiful acoustic version of 'Just for today, I will not worry what tomorrow will bring...'

Funny that her name is India, cause the little boy in my Kenyan family never managed to get my name right, so he started calling me India. Same did his aunt and eventually the rest of the family, including the maid. Even today I would turn around if somebody on the street shouted 'India'.

So when I discovered India'Song, I felt that it was about me;

I wanna go where the mountains are high enough to echo my song
I wanna go where the rivers run deep enough to drown my shame
I wanna go where the stars shine bright enough to show me the way
I wanna go where the wind calls my name
The wind is calling India India India

It's a typical Savannah day
So I take my guitar to the park and I play
Sitting up under the live oak tree
The strangest feeling came over me

(By India.Arie)

So the song is about racism, which doesn't really apply to me. What makes India'Song magical, is the typical Savannah day. The people who call me India, happen to live in a part of Nairobi called Savannah.

And the wind is really calling India, India, India..

Random.

Glam

2007-06-24T00:24:00.000+02:00

When I was a kid, I always dreamed of being a stockbroker or owner of a successful business venture. Running from one lunch date to another in between sky scrapers, wearing ultra high heels, a Hugo Boss power suit and a marc Jacobs hand bag.

Yappie cliche aside, I can now rightfully call myself a business woman. It must be the most humble beginning in history, but I have big plans for my freelance-writer company. Just give me ten years.

Thank you so much Nikolai for helping me register!

Unglam

2007-06-24T00:08:00.000+02:00

Trondheim in June. Gloomy and about as colourful as an 80's television footage from the former Soviet Union. Rainy but not. I have a landlady and daughter who take turns at slandering me outside my (open) window (-how many times do we have to tell her not to leave her window open like that? Now this time YOU can tell her! Good thing she is not staying for long.) and give me in for putting my garbage in the uh..garbage bin. In other words, things are back to normal.

I am back to sleeping in, talking for hours on the phone, reading in bed, spending whole days going from one coffee shop to another. My body is thanking me for slowing down. I am thanking God that my body is still in one piece, really.

Work is good, it better be, Saturday I spent 17 hours there, with a break in between shifts, giving me exactly 3 1/2 hours to sleep. Looking forward to payday, my first in six months.

Closer than we like

2007-06-07T18:07:00.000+02:00

Mungikis. The reason why we had to bring heavily armed guards to our trea planting.
Because of these guys, I was advised not to spend a night in the Mathare slum. Peter freaked out when I took the matatu a bit too far once, cause the place I got off is apparently swarming with Mungikis.

The day I left the country, they killed several police officers on the road I take (took, actually..not fully adjusted yet)home everyday.

And here I spend one whole night awake, adrenaline rushing through my veins because of a pathetic wasp in my bedroom.

Lazy days

2007-06-07T02:47:00.000+02:00

Job: check!
Apartment: check!
Money to survive: check!
Friends coming out to play: check!
A tribe to belong to: check!

Things are running smoothly, and I have so much time on my hands I am starting to get reaquainted with boredom. But my God is still my God, even if I am not jumping up and down like crazy or in constant danger, with ten armed angels following me all day long. I am so grateful that everything has worked out so well the past few weeks, but must confess I miss the big city buzz.

Sitting in my big bed now, thinking back to the first time Tom took me to the KenyaTimes Newsroom. I was given a cup of tea and a seat, and ended up just sitting there, observing the noise and hustle. Smiling on the inside (or so i thought).
-I think you will like it here, said one of my colleagues to be.
-I know I will, I said.

We were right. Ooooh, I want to smell adventure again, maybe I should become a missionary; smuggle Bibles into Saudi Arabia or walk naked amongst tribes in the Amazon...or maybe I should just read my book in the garden instead of the couch?

Ding dong!

2007-06-01T01:27:00.000+02:00

Tomorrow, I leave the great countryside. Sorry to say it's been too rainy to make much use of the hammock. But the two days of sunshine were jolly good! I am turning into a country girl, all I can think about for this post is the weather.

How ironic isn't it that while we curse the rain, my boyfriend's country home in the dry part of Kenya, have rainmakers. Serious rainmakers. They follow the big, fat snake across the area, from mountain to mountain. (A snake only the rainmakers have seen, of course) And they spend their nights dancing on various mountains. And the rain comes.

Paradoxically, because of all the witchcraft and rainmaking that goes on in this area, the people who live there claim a curse is upon them.

-All the rain clouds go straight past us, they say.
-The rain comes down anywhere but here.

I climbed the nearest mountain, but I didn't see as much as a tiny snake, even. I spent two whole nights in this dry land, showering under the stars, listening to animals looming outside the house. But I didn't meet a single rainmaker.

Here, at my childhood home, however, the doorbell rings at 1.28 am, and when I rush to the door to see who's out there in the middle of the night; nobody...Now, that's more scary than all the rainmakers in the world.

25

2007-05-23T00:09:00.000+02:00

I went for a job interview today, and the guy asked me to list all the countries I've visited.

-Are you sure you are only 25 years old? he asked me afterwards.

Hahaha, I am spoilt and stubborn, what can I say? And I am so thrilled to have found a potential summer job here in Trondheim where all my globe trotting will be put to use, where I can actually get paid to watch CNN and surf the net for news. Fingers crossed.

But for now, chill in the hammock with a book, my brother's iPod and the blue sky.

Walk the walk

2007-05-20T14:35:00.000+02:00

It is too quiet in this town, I am broke and my sister got married to her laptop. So today I walked from one side of Trondheim to the other. Haven't had a decent workout in months, and my legs are now in shock. But I have a lot of greasy meat pies, chapatis, sweet chai and cadburys to get rid of. I can think of better ways to do it, though; Banjuka!

Give me a club with low quality swahili music and ghosts from the 80's, please!

Mama

2007-05-19T19:22:00.000+02:00

I did nothing today. Went to the supermarket, came back, made flied lice, ate and watched a number of documentaries on TV. My mum called this morning, to wish me welcome back and to tell me that my cousin has announced her pregnancy and that my uncle has set a date for his wedding this summer. I couldn't help but think that it was I who should have set a wedding date and I who should have told her I was pregnant. But none of the above applies to moi, so I will continue to be a rootless young person. Must be something they put in the air here in Trondheim, cause when I was in Nairobi, I was just fine, but now I am back in the baking business.

All of my life, where have you been?
I wonder if i will ever see you again.